So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
