I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
