Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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