The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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