Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
