yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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