You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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