once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I want to fling myself into the sun
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
