Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
