Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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