dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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