I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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