He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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