Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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