he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
