I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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