quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
