The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
