she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
