his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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