Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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