People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
