so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
