'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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