So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.