I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step