But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize