On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.