In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
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He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
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Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.