I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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