you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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