Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
