If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
