just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
