drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Operation Purity has been aborted
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
