why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
