Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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