I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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