Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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