I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
