I just cut my nipple shaving
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
ttyl tear gas
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
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