JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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