So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
