went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
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I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
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Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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