i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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