two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
