Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
