I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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