a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
