Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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