dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
