She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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