I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
