I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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