I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
