i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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