New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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