yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
