Betty ford says i'm here all night
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Hippo gnu deer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize