There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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