you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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