What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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