no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
