So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
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She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
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I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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