Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
