While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
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Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
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Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Never joke about your clitoris.
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